I love getting out of town. L-O-V-E.
Finally made the trip down to Arizona to see Melinda. This has been such a long time coming that I was really anxious. Also, I needed out of town. Bend has been getting me down. All the drama all the time starts to wear on a person. Between the job, the boys, my friends and roommates I just needed a second to breathe and regroup. Get back to me.
Before I left for AZ I made a big life decision. I quit my finance job. Just taking the steps that insure my departure to Prague. I get scared to leave my safe little bubble so I need to make my bubble less of well...a bubble. If there is nothing to hold onto I will make the leap of faith.
AZ was great. I got to meet some of Melinda's friends. Her roommate in particular really left an impression on me. In the sea of fakeness that is Scottsdale it is hard to find a truly caring, down to earth good person. Mel's roommate is one of those people and I am thankful to have met him,. Aside from the usual pool lounging we made time for some bar/club hopping. Bottle service in Scottsdale and stiff drinks at Champions aka the D of Arizona. . . . good times, good people and great friends.
It was great to be way from the expectation. The negative side of living in the town you grew up in is that everyone has an idea of who you are as a person. Very rarely are you allowed to grow and change. You are judged on ideas and actions from years past. People are prone to getting upset when you act outside of their ideas of you. It was great to be in AZ and just be me.
Now it is back to real life in Bend, OR and back to making real decisions. I am finishing out my work as a Broker and really struggling with the idea that I am not on a path. I am a solid ground kind of girl and now I feel like I am balancing on a twig that is blowing in a hurricane. I am like on of those snow globes in the sense that I feel like my world has been turned upside down and shaken. Not necessarily a bad thing just different. I am not spectacular with change. I try to keep this part of my personality hidden from view. I want to come off as this spontaneous girl who fears nothing but secretly I fear change. I get nervous and scared...I try to push through. I am trying to face my fear on a daily basis but sometimes I just want to hide in the corner.
